Alive but not Well

General Off Topic
1

Since there’s a Dead and Gone thread, thought I’d do this one.

Dead and gone is not fun but it can be easy, if you take care of it ahead of time.

What’s agonizingly worse is alive and not well, especially if it’s a younger loved one. I’ve been down this road …

Can’t emphasize this enough. If your family members are 18 or over, and they are hospitalized, if you don’t have Medical Power of Attorney no one has to talk to you and they can deny you access to them and the records. You will not be asked about medical decisions or be allowed to be in the discussions.

Lucky for me I put MPoA in place over the phone with Roper Hospital the day before my son Hunter required emergency surgery. It was pure luck. When the call came at 5:15 PM, and the surgeon said they need to do surgery, and if they don’t, “your son will not be here in the morning”, that was earth shaking. I got that call because I had MPoA and the hospital had it on record.

ER admission,3 days later, emergency surgery, parts of major organs removed, seizures, coma, ICU, no brain activity, feeding tube, ventilated, dialysis, daily plasmapheresis, drugs, 10 days later - “pull the plug”, etc. The medical team would have pulled the plug if I had not had MPoA.

16 days of agony. September 11, his brain woke up but still in a coma. We were told his kidneys were gone, his brain was damaged, he would need full-time medical care, “don’t expect anything more”, etc. Today he is a fully functional adult, kidneys are working, went back to work as a Paramedic, became a Crew Chief, opened a business, closed it, opened Tideland Brewing on Dorchester Rd. Getting married next month.

This is serious stuff. It is quite difficult to get MPoA when the person isn’t able to grant it. Equally important is Durable Power of Attorney - that’s for all the other stuff. Paying bills, accessing the credit card, bank account, etc. Those companies will not talk to you without DPA, and they will require a copy of it. If the person has a mortgage, car payment, power bill, phone bill etc., this is critical.

If you don’t have this stuff you will have to go to Court to get it. That takes time and energy. It’s not easy or quick. You will not know how to do it and you’ll be using up a ton of time and emotional energy. In Charleston County there are people at the court that will help but you won’t know how to find them or what to do.

You can get these forms online, they are simple. Everyone in your family needs to be “papered up” and cross-papered with more than one person. Hopefully it’s never needed.

I posted about this story when it happened. Many folks were supportive. Hunter is good friends with Stoneman’s grandson, so Stonoman has met Hunter. Stop by Tideland Brewing and ask to see him. If you say something like, “So you’re the dead guy”, he’ll smile and laugh.

Get the paperwork done. Medical Power of Attorney, and Durable Power of Attorney.
https://powerofattorney.com/south-carolina/

1 Like
2

That’s some very useful information.
Thanks!

3

Sound advice sir, thank you for that and such good news your son is thriving

4

That was a tragic life changing event and you were blessed with a happy ending.

Thanks for sharing and your paper up advice is very helpful.

Best of luck to you, your family and friends

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Thank you, sir VERY MUCH…

I just asked my medical wife about this, she said those two forms are readily available in the Admitting office at time of admission, or at the ER for medical only if the person is not coherent. They ask you ““is there a medical Power of Attorney, and is there a full Power of Attorney?”” If no, they are supposed to ask if you would like to complete the medical one.

Problem is, most people are just hesitant in legal matters to act either way, even in an emergency, so not much is done normally in those situations, other than giving permission to operate, etc.

Your experience is so unlike anything we have ever experienced that it has of course, made you so aware more than average people.

Hope your advice is heeded by everyone, EXTREMELY ACCURATE.

6

You just gave me a reason for going to tideland Brewing. I remember you telling us this story. Thanks for re-sharing. Hope you are still doing well!! GOD is good! When is the best time to go that your son would be there?

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Hunter is there most days. They are closed on Monday and Tuesday. Best would be to call and check. https://www.facebook.com/TidelandBrewing/

Doing well. Got the Walterboro house sold last year so am rarely there anymore. The inlaws are buried there, in Live Oak Cemetary, so we stop by a few times a year.

Thanks for your help.