First off you need to gut and take the gills out of the carp . Next after a good washing with lava hand soap , your hands silly not the carp as we don’t want to messs up the stuffing . Set oven on bake at 350 degrees and while waiting for oven to warn up go get some horse manure but cow manure will work ok .
Next open carp up and pack with stuffing , add salt and pepper inside and out . Place carp in oven and bake for 45 minutes or until outside is a light brown. Next open up the carp and rake out the stuffing onto a large platter . Place some onions all around the manure stuffing , throw the carp out the back door for the coons and enjoy your stuffing and onions with a glass of wine 
This was told to me by an older man when I went camping with him and my dad at an age of about 10 , I was eating this story up listening to every word of this wise old man , my dad was sitting back with a smile on his face .
My dad left here when he was 45 and as I sit here , myself being 60 I wish I could enjoy another story seeing his smile .
The moral of this recipe of life is to love the ones near you through the good times and the crap as one day they will be gone .