With Mothers’ Day this weekend, I thought I’d share this from Capt. Larry here in Beaufort:
I Owe My Mother…
-
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside… I just finished cleaning.” -
My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.” -
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!” -
My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.” -
My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.” -
My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.” -
My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.” -
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.” -
My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!” -
My mother taught me about STAMINA …
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.” -
My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.” -
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!” -
My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out…” -
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
“Stop acting like your father!” -
My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.” -
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.” -
My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
“You are going to get it when you get home!” -
My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck