Wrong , wrong, wrong, teach your kids to be self reliant in all they
persue , want and need! Most all young kids today have no idea of having to wait or work for their needs and the gov. is contributing
to this dependence. Parents need to instill the art of survival in their kids by educating them and setting examples…
Go by any high school and the parking lot is FULL of mostly new
autos that you know had to be provided by parents (insurance and fuel)
Paying their kids bills only instills a sense of entitlement and instant self gratification , and when they don’t have any appreciation
for hard work they don’t appreciate what others (parents) do provide them.
I raised three , 2 boys and a girl, they grew up ,worked for their cars and spending money , if they didn’t earn it they didn’t get it.
Each has their own homes, cars ,ect ,ect. No illigetiment grands, none use drugs , and neither OWES Dad!!!
This post supports my other entry on this forum about;; (I am one )
Agree or not but I believe they ‘kids’ are a product of their raising!!![:0][:0][:0][:0]
Didn’t imply that a number of kids don’t/didn’t/can’t overcome
their up bringing and yes I’ve been fortunate that mine turned out
as they did , but I stand on the premise that the vast majority
raised in unfavorable environments , single parent,ect,ect,
are facing a near impossible ,uncertain future, and yes my kids
got the education they wanted as they could afford ; oldest from the Marines ; youngest son, public tech school ; daughter part
time community college while working full time job. So yes kids
are mostly a product of their upbringing.[:0][:0][:0]
I’m in agreement with gail wins. I believe a parent’s primary role is to raise a child to be independent and self sufficient, not to provide them with material advantages just because they are available. The sooner a child’s self-esteem and sense of accomplishment become their own, and not parent dependant, the better.
If theres a virgin on James Island over 13 its because she can out run her brothers! — Just kidding - but I heard it was true - Seriously, find an area you like, Take your time and check out EVERYTHING! - traffic, HOA issues, flooding, axe murderers, -convenience to the things you like - noise at night. The Charleston area has some real problems with traffic, taxes and flooding
Y’alls opinions amaze me. They truly do. Gail Wind so if your kids wanted higher education is was up to them to pay for it, correct? And Andy, I never implied anything you could or couldn’t afford, or what you should or shouldn’t get, be it starter or Tajh Mahal. That’s your business. Moreover, I never said your parents “should help you out.” All I said was there is nothing wrong with parents helping their kids. The other fellow stated that when you helped kids you ruined them, they became entitled, and turned out good for nothing.
We bought our son a pickup truck when he was 16 and a junior in high school. He kept and took care of it for 8 years, through Clemson, and a couple of years into his first job. It was his responsibility to have summer jobs when he was in college, b/c spending money was on his shoulders, not ours. He was able to save money b/c of that truck and now he has a really nice Porsche. I’ll tell you this, he didn’t take his truck for granted, and he certainly appreciates his Porsche. He’s never been in any trouble, honor student, star athlete, lots of friends, and well liked in his business. He’s becoming a successful, licensed investment banker for Wells Fargo. I guarantee you at no point in his life has he ever felt entitled or that things were “owed him”. He’s worked and earned everything he has from grades, to sports, work position, and his Porsche. According to y’all, us giving him a truck at 16 and putting him through college should have ruined him!
When I was a newlywed my parents gave us 10k towards our first home down payment. Between what we had saved and that 10k we had a big enough down payment to avoid PMI. When interest rates dropped we were able to refinance from 30 to 15 years pretty quickly. Basically, the $$ we saved from PMI was enough to cover the difference for the increased shorter mortgage and our equity skyrocketed. When we sold that home the 15yr note had given us another 35-40k in eqity. So I guess my point is - the way we parlayed that 10k gift really helped us
Andy; you’ve got the right plan in mind ,pay no attention to the so called baloney , unless I missed something hoppy is the only one to use the term ruin , don’t know where that came from.[:0][:0]
Its shortsighted to say spoiling kids will always ruin them. A parent’s cannot simply be a caretaker but must also invest time and attention into teaching or melding their kids. Depending on the kids personality or friends this can be easy or hard.
I know some brothers that are just a few years apart. Raised in the same house at the same school’s with access to the same boats, trucks, etc. One of them went to college and is probably just a few years from running his dads business despite already having his own. The other dropped out of school and was bouncing around from job to job for awhile, not 100% sure what he does now.
They were raised smart, kind, and well mannered parents.
There is no perfect way to raise all kids. But if the means is there its foolish not to help your kid follow their own path. Some will need guidance and some will need resources. Hard work is not the solution to every problem and I will not sit back and watch my kids struggle or fail because I didn’t want to get off a few dollars. I wont make them risk their lives fighting a politicians war for a scholarship either. Saying a kid should shoud have to get a mortgage to pay for their education is ridiculos. If you think I’m exaggerating you haven’t paid enough attention to tuition hikes over the last 20 or so years.
Her parents, one is retired already, one is almost retired and is working part time, and they’ve committed what I’d consider a hefty sum to help pay for a wedding. They need not be concerned with also helping buy a house.
I have a friend who’s daughter got into an out of state small, private, liberal arts college. 50k a year. They sold their big house (she was the last child at home) and cashed out the equity to put her through college. They bought a much smaller house (2k sqft less) and said they love not having the costs associated with a big house. And they seem ecstatic they are able to put her through school without incurring any new debt.
I didn’t say give them nothing, I gave them a raw piece of land to clear and build their own house. I gave him an education and taught him how to be a man on his own 2 feet. After all, he worked on our property for about 20 years, still does any time I need him. He’s helped me build roads, dig ditches and stumps, dig a well, clear land, build a house and a shop, and a few boats, and anything else I ask him to help me with. I figure he’s earned it. I help him any time I can too, but he’s earned everything he got, one way or another.
quote:Never having to hear about In-Law money that helped buy a house - Priceless
X3!! I’d rather live in a tent.
Are you implying that every parent who helps their kids out, then tuns around and holds it over their heads?
You’d probably fit in better in a tent
Are you implying that none do?
Relationships between 2 adults can be very complicated. 50% of marriages break up. Do you really think that parents meddling in their married children’s lives, or children that remain dependant on their parents after they’ve gotten married, are never a factor in any of those many failed marriages?
