As for the spring – most people think it’s kind of useless but if you’re a new coach you find out who you want to “cut” and open scholarships for and you find out just exactly how many people you want to fire from Steve Spurrier’s – I mean the former coach’s – staff.
And remember, it’s all in fun. And if you lose a lot of games and your eyeballs you get a bus.
Boom.
Now onto some observations from spring across the country:
SOUTH CAROLINA
The Gamecocks went out and got their 19th choice to be head coach, the failed Will Muschamp. He immediately instituted something called Spurs Up, which is what happens when a chicken has been ripped to shreds and decides to surrender. The proper term is Hackles Up – showing a little fight – but the nuances are lost on a man whose eyeballs pop out during games, causing him to have to chase them down the sideline to put them back in. He also has a bus. Which is cute. But the spring game was interesting – it was like a Little League participation trophy party, where touchdowns are touchdowns despite penalties and every drive starts in plus territory. Everybody that scored got a free ride on the Boom Bus, which is kind of like a party bus without the party. The good news for South Carolina is that their schedule is absolutely awful next season, and they play just three teams with a pulse – Clemson, Tennessee and Georgia. That bad schedule alone could get them to four whole wins. Heck, now that I think about it, maybe he did mean Spurs Up. I surrender!! BAWK!!!
GEORGIA TECH
The Yeller Jackets were bad last year, but a lot of that is because the first 22 running backs on their roster had injuries. Pawwwwwl Johnson thinks that the Jackets will be better than ever this season – which might mean five wins – and he went all out in spring practice. In an effort to reduce injuries to his players but to also improve their chop blocking, Johnson brought only lineman and receivers to his only spring practice. For two hours, he had them fall down on the turf. Then he had t